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Time to clear the air in my head.

This time last year, I was completely overwhelmed by... Well, everything. School, personal life, lack thereof, etc. It was, in all seriousness, the worst rollercoaster ride in all of rollercoasterdom. Elena can vouch for me.

If that makes any sort of sense.

This year, in contrast, is perfect. My classes are relatively simple, the only huge stress in my life is the mountain of college applications awaiting me, and I have a wonderful boyfriend--for once--who I can never get enough of. (Really, itapos;s kind of pathetic.) Iapos;ve been sleeping fairly regularly, except for tonight. My grades are passable. I think I might even get into an okay college, which is amazing since last yearapos;s grades were definitely shoved to the back burner the majority of the time. I donapos;t even smoke anymore. Much.

There was a choir concert tonight, which went fairly well. My grandparents are in town so they got the honor of sitting through the two hour concert. Woo.

I guess they liked it okay. Whatevs. I mean, if I were them I wouldnapos;t have wanted to sit there the entire time. Old people are weird, is all I have to say about that.

Yeah, my brain is a bit scattered at the moment, if you canapos;t tell.

I didnapos;t get to say apos;bye to Ben after the concert. Itapos;s bothering me. Weird, right? Doo doo doo-doo. :[

Aaaaaand I have a mountain of homework to climb. Like Everest. Or another really tall mountain.

[insert closing comment ladidalostinterestbye]


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I would really like the liberal international bloggers to Be. Less. Condescending. Theyapos;re not helping out the side. Quite the opposite.

Honestly, I agree with them politically, but I kind of want to put a flaming bag of dog poo on their front stoop every time I read a passive-aggressive "you do understand, donapos;t you?" or a "do you get how important this is?"

Yes, actually we do. Sorry weapos;re not displaying the fevered-pitch of hysteria that they deem appropriate. Itapos;s been a long, long campaign and trying to maintain some semblance of sanity has been pretty much a full time job. What may look like disengagement, may just be someone creating a safe space for themselves.

And for serious here, who do they think theyapos;re talking to? The great mass of idiot Americans they apparently think theyapos;re addressing sure donapos;t read their blogs. Theyapos;re only condescending to the converted.

God. Iapos;m starting dislike the people on my own end of the ideological spectrum as much as the ones at the other.
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From the workbook for the class I am taking. I havenapos;t even started this class yet and Iapos;m already learning a lot. Putting it into action is another matter, but Iapos;m working on it.

1. Openly recognize wrong deeds to be wrong deeds.

2. Recognize that your anger is not only normal, but necessary

3. Realize how ongoing bitterness will ultimately hurt you.

4. Learn from your problems by establishing better boundaries.

5. Refuse to be in the inferior position and resist the desire to be superior.

6. Avoid the futlility of judgments, letting God be the ultimate judge.

7. Allow yourself permission to grieve.

8. Confront the injuring party if appropriate.

9. Find emotional freedom as you let go of the illusion of control (this is a big one for me).

10. Choose forgiveness because it is part of your lifeapos;s mission.

11. Come to terms with othersapos; wrong deeds by recognizing your own need for forgiveness.

12. Become a source of encouragement to other hurting people.
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yesterday was good.

shopping spree with hanni, rachel and hoching
at suntec city.

was supposed to meet at 3pm
but they were helping me to buy sch socks
so it was delayed to 3.45pm.
with my hands empty,
i decided to shop on my own first.

within 15mins,
i bombed chi-ching in topshop.
on impulse?
still, not as bad as tt headband i only wear at home. Lol

met them at fox and we went to get stuffs tgt
and settle some of hanniapos;s stuffs. Lol
�finally, we got our pencil cases. 8D

aft tt was yami yogurt
�hanni left.
so the remaining 3 of us headed for kfc.

i think we talked more than we ate.
we went on and on.
worrying too much as always. Lol


i skipped the new balance real run today.
had a slight fever,
plus my heels were killing me.
shall pay up another day.

�tks to those who asked if i was okay
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tmrrwapos;s mr zongapos;s treat (agn).
shopping before tt with rah (L).

OH �MY�MOMapos;S GOING�OVERSEAS TMRRW.
more freedom? donapos;t think so.
more qt with dad? yes.
this is gonna be a long week (sighs)



i need to train.shoot.train.shoot more.
gotta cherish my last few trngs.
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The CDC should quarantine the studio that made this piece of drek. The guy down the row from me started yelling "Kill that bitch" about half-way through and frankly I was inclined to agree.

The whole thing is done handycam style a la "Blair Witch Project" and "Cloverfield". This is, one has to suppose, the reason why the teenaged girl next to me turned to her mother at the end and said, I shit you not, "Did that really happen?"

She probably had on a Palin for President tshit.

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Well apparently my head and I are in a bit of a funk. I havenapos;t really been feeling myself as of late. Perhaps itapos;s the constant work/bullshit, no days off, family stuff, the after effects of drinking, other things or all things. Whatever the hell it is... No bueno. Looking at my boot camp letters and photos didnapos;t help either... God I hope I have graduation pictures without her in them. Not out of awkwardness but... Well... Yeah, I guess out of awkwardness, haha.

Damn Iapos;m tired. Itapos;s not even 10pm yet on a Friday night and Iapos;m probably just gonna go to bed. My bed is so freaking comfy. Now I just gotta put my mind on something other than tonightapos;s showing of Devilapos;s Advocate (awesome movie) so I donapos;t have sacreligious dreams.
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